We do not see things as they are, we see them as we are.
Anais Nin
The Power of Conversation
Home / The Power of Conversation
A Powerful Tool for Individual and Team Change
Who and how we are in all aspects of our work tends to be invisible or ‘transparent’ to us. Like a fish doesn’t know it is in water, we too are often completely unaware of our instinctive, habitual ways of thinking, being and behaving until things don’t seem to be working as well as they once did.
All too often, we may find ourselves bumping up against the periphery of the circle of our lives only to notice how uncomfortable and restrictive it has become. We can find ourselves stuck and unsure how to move forward, perhaps repeating many of the same mistakes over and over or witnessing old habits coming back to haunt us. Or perhaps we have reached a point in our personal or professional development where we are facing challenges we don’t really know how to address. Inevitably, at some point in our existence, we will encounter an interruption to the smooth flow of existence where it can it can be difficult to find creative solutions to the problems we face. This is where a coach comes in.
Coaching is a powerful tool for personal development, team development and change enabling individuals to cultivate fresh insights, greater levels of self-awareness and distinct ways of observing and behaving which allows us to be more effective in dealing with personal and professional challenges. The coaching conversation provides a platform for you explore your goals, ideals or deeper questions with someone who is interested in you and what really matters. Coaching creates a confidential and non-judgemental space for you to think, muse, speak freely, reflect and be listened to. It gets beneath the surface of the challenges you face and provides you with a ‘collaborative partner’ to challenge your thinking, explore your ideas and help you make sustainable changes to create the personal or business life you desire.
Although there are many different types of coaching the beauty of the coaching conversation is that it allows individuals to become different observers of themselves and the world permitting them to quickly identify when they are making progress or moving rapidly off course. It opens up areas of clarity and possibility that they may never have before considered.
People new to coaching often have difficulty understanding the differences between coaching and counselling. Here are my thoughts about this.
The objective of coaching is to help people improve their quality of existence and enhance the results they would like to get. The basic presumption of coaching is that coaching clients are in a reasonably good place mentally and emotionally, and ready to explore their ‘way of being’ through the medium of questions, challenges and exploration of possibilities for change in the different domains of existence. The work focuses on creating and maintaining motivation, exploring obstacles to change, and creating plans for change.
The objective of counselling is to help people address and resolve problems that make them feel bad emotionally, or are impairing their ability to function well. This can include healing from Anxiety, Depression, Mood Disorders, Trauma, issues with their family of origin, their relationships, ADHD, Addictions and many other common problems. It’s understood that unless and until these problems are resolved it will be difficult for people to make significant changes in their lives.
| Coaching | Counselling |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Coaching can be an invaluable resource in helping us navigate the turbulent white-water rapids of 21st-century life. There are coaches for everything these days from finding a job, to finding your purpose, to losing weight, to finding your mate or deepening your relationship with God.
In my experience of coaching and being coached, and to keep things simple, there are 3 levels of coaching:
| The first is Transactional or Incremental Coaching designed to create incremental change by modification of skills and behaviours to accomplish tasks and goals. In its basic essence, this would involve helping people to clarify their goals and laying out a set of steps to achieve them and then setting up structures that help them stay on track. Helps people improve what they are already doing. | Performance Coaching Achieving Goals Focusses on Doing Deals with the WHAT Maintains the status quo Single Loop Learning |
| The second is Developmental Coaching designed to develop specific skills and competency such as leadership competency i.e. performance appraisals or time management techniques. This is a sort of ‘training approach’ which enables individuals to improve their behaviour and performance. Whilst this is likely to promote longer term change it does not address the motivations or complexities that sit behind it. | Performance Coaching Developing Competence Focusses on Doing Deals with the HOW Maintains the status quo Single Loop Learning |
| The third level of coaching is often termed Transformational Coaching which involves working with individuals to address their ‘way of being’. Although this process also deals with developing skills and competence, coaching in this domain also focusses on ‘unravelling’ the person with the intent of respectfully shifting their fixed sense of WHO they are. Coaching at this level sheds light on the individuals ‘blind spots’ by introducing different distinctions. Its aim is to expand the circle to address issues of who and how we are being in the world. This allows for the emergence of new possibilities, value systems, spiritual insights and worldviews. It provides and invitation for you to inhabit ‘more space’ in the world while enabling them you to engage more fluidly with the complexities of life. |
Evolutionary or Revolutionary |
My core focus as a coach is on transformational coaching using the Ontological approach coupled with other transformative applications to promote deep and lasting change.
In its simplest form coaching is a series of conversations between a coach and their client which takes place either face to face or via Skype or Zoom using a webcam. Coaching can also take place over the phone but it’s not ideal and is used only as a last resort.
Conversations can range in length from 30-45 minutes to two hours depending on the situation. The frequency and length of sessions can be agreed up front or arrangements can be made on a flexible “as needed” basis
Typically, the client comes to the coaching session with a challenge or issue they are facing. The coach and the client will agree on a focus for the session or series of sessions to help the client achieve their overall goals. The progression of coaching conversations is a matter of agreement between the coach and the client. It can be done in a very structured manner (which is preferred in organisations), evolve organically conversation by conversation or fit somewhere in between.
The number and duration of the coaching sessions depends on the individual and the objectives they would like to bring to the coaching process. A specific number of sessions can be agreed by the individual or organisation at the outset depending on focus and financial constraints. Alternatively, it can be agreed on a pay as you go basis, where clients don’t feel ‘tied into’ a specific contract.
To find out more about coaching to suit your needs, get in touch
Coaching is a great investment in your future, but I appreciate that people have different and varying capacities to finance their coaching. To that end, I provide a variable scale for executive and personal coaching depending on the situation. Get in touch about your needs and situation.
I believe that coaching relationships should only be maintained whilst the client feels it is valuable to them. Therefore I do not require clients to enter into contracts to undertake a certain number of sessions, unless required by an organisation, but rather invite them to pay as they go.
If you are interested in being coached but unsure whether my approach would suit you then why not arrange a FREE introductory session with no obligation for you to continue.
These introductory sessions are 45 minutes long. They involve a brief introduction and the opportunity to address an issue you wish to resolve, so you would need to bring a topic for conversation.
Please note that I do not engage in pressure selling techniques in my work. Respecting and serving clients is at the core of what I do, so rest assured that these introductory sessions will not be used to pressurise you into a paid coaching relationship.
